What it took to get my family debt free

Some of you saw my post last week that my husband and I just paid off the last of our student loans and are officially debt free! Quite a few of you commented that you needed tips, so… here we go.

Before I dive in let me tell you: my history with finances was not pretty. Even though I started working at 14, I saved absolutely nothing (and I mean zero) until about five years ago. I’ve been through debt consolidation loans, bailouts from my parents (thanks mom!) and some very embarrassing moments with friends. I can make excuses for all of it - for example, transferring from community college to a very expensive private school and trying to keep up with my peers, working at nonprofits that didn’t pay much – but ultimately, I just didn’t want to have discipline around money. I was afraid that I wouldn’t be happy if I wasn’t spending the way I was used to. But the truth is: I am infinitely happier now, and much less stressed. All this to say: if I can find the discipline, just about anyone can.

The three big challenges for me were 1: wanting to do it, 2: knowing how to start, and 3: making it stick. Here’s how I finally overcame those challenges.

Understand what my future looks like without budgeting

None of the zillion budgeting tools would have worked for me without a mindset change. I needed to really, truly understand the pain that would come from my current lifestyle, in order for that pain to be more powerful than the instant gratification of buying a new iPhone cover, or going out to eat. I played out in my head what would happen a month from now, 6 months from now, a year from now, 5 years from now, if I didn’t change my habits. A month from now? Everything might be ok. 5 years from now? The picture got uglier, and that’s when I started to gain some power over my own behavior.

Reflect on what actually brings me happiness

This was hard. And I mean, hard. Because it meant being honest with myself, and that can be a painful process. I truly believed that spending money on things was the way to be happy, but every good research study out there basically says that’s BS. It was a hard belief to let go, but once I went without buying new stuff for a while, I realized I was actually much happier. The proof is in the pudding they say!

Get on the same page with my husband

Oooooh man. Us getting on the same page was one of the hardest things we’ve done. He was always the thrifty-deal-finder, and I was always the reckless spender. (He still calls me a maximalist!) Suffice to say, our beliefs did not initially match up. It took many conversations, but ultimately, we got there! If we hadn’t both been willing to give a little, we’d probably still be neck-deep in debt.

Find the right tools to help

Only after completing those first three steps could I think about the logistics of budgeting. There are a bunch of apps out there, and honestly? Most of them will work if you’re committed. Some of them sync to your bank accounts, some of them have you put in receipts. We used Every Dollar initially, and then switched to Quickbooks because we were already using it for our business. Whatever too you use, make sure you like it and that it’s easy. The fewer barriers, the smoother this will be.

Make it stick

I wish I had a major secret to share here that made it all super easy, but if I’m being honest? It wasn’t easy, it was just really important. There’s a great program by Dave Ramsey that my husband introduced me to, and that helped me with the discipline side of it. Find someone you like who talks about budgeting or financial freedom, and listen to their podcast once a week to stay motivated. For years I didn’t buy new clothes unless essential (and I mean essential like my underwear had holes in it), I didn’t drink Starbucks, I didn’t go out to eat unless it was our anniversary, and I used my iPhone until it literally broke… It was hard at first, but then it got easier. Especially as we saw the debt numbers go down.

We still did fun things – we just made sure they were a part of the budget, and that we could afford them. If we traveled, we rented our house on Airbnb to make sure the cost of our trip would be covered. If we went out to eat for a special occasion, we wouldn’t order appetizers and meals and desserts and a bottle of wine.

So there you have it – all the tips I can think of that let us be debt free. Did we fall off the wagon? For sure. We probably could have been debt free in 3 years if we hadn’t. But we always climbed back on, and it means now – even in the midst of the pandemic – we were still able to finally become debt free.