The most surprising – and impactful - lesson from a family member
Having two little kids and keeping the house clean and organized… holy moly. Every day at the end of the day I look at my home and it’s like the toys, crafts, and snack time all vomited. My son – who is learning to eat with his fingers, so not his fault at all – has smeared banana/avocado/who-actually-knows-what all over his high-chair. There are chunks of unidentifiable food on the floor under the table (and how did one make it all the way over to the living room?!). My daughter has rolled up what seems like hundreds of stickers, and now they’re stuck to the walls/toilet bowl/her hair (true story). SHEESH.
It is important to me to keep my house clean and organized. I realize it’s not important to everyone, but if you’re a mama like me – this is for you.
Not long after my son was born, a family member (identities concealed to protect the family peace) came over to help out. I must have spent a good chunk of the time she was over cleaning up and organizing, because she told me this story.
When she had little kids, she spent a lot of her time cleaning. A lot. Then she would go over to her relative’s house who also had little kids, and there would be toys strewn about and messes everywhere. She used to look at it and balk, how can she not take care of the house?! But years later she tells me, maybe her relative had it right. Her relative focused on spending her time playing with her kids and didn’t worry about the house. My family member wishes, looking back, that maybe she had done more of the same. Wisdom of the generations, mamas.
Weirdly, it was like this story gave me permission to let things go while I was adjusting to having two kids under two. Well, that’s interesting. Does it mean I was keeping the house clean to keep up appearances? Because I felt like I would be judged (by her, or by others) if I couldn’t keep things together with two little kids? Like I needed permission, or acceptance for it to be ok? Wow, yeah. Yikes!! Here I am, three weeks into being a mom to two tiny humans, and I’m worried what other people will think if my house is dirty?!
I can’t be the only one. So, here’s what I learned, mamas, in case you’ve found yourself feeling the same.
New mamas, or mamas who just had baby number 2 (or 3, or 4…) let’s be good to ourselves and focus on what’s most important. Our well-being, the baby’s well-being, and our other kids’ well-being. That’s it. You give yourself permission to do what you need to do to check those three boxes.
Once you come out of your newborn hibernation, there are things you can do to make it easier to keep the house in order, so you can spend your time on other things. We have too much going on to not have systems and strategies in place to handle the basics.
Some people can live in a messy house forever, I’m just not one of them. If you’re like me, stay in touch because I’ll be sharing my tips next week on how to make it easier to keep things clean and organized with less daily effort. You can sign up here if you want those tips delivered right to you.