3 unexpected lessons from stay-at-home
During our weekly date yesterday, my husband and I started talking about the things we’ve learned while under the stay-at-home order. With stay-at-home coming to a close in most parts of the country, I wanted to share. It would be easy to just go straight back to what I was doing before, but I think this pandemic has been an unprecedented opportunity to really reflect and learn about myself. Here’s what I’ve learned:
I learned I don’t miss buying stuff. Partly because we can’t go out, and partly because we – like many people – have had to seriously tighten our budget. We looked at our Amazon history, and in the last month we’ve basically bought diapers, sunscreen, and pens. That’s it. I haven’t been to TJ Maxx since February, and… I don’t actually miss it? Which is really surprising to me, because I thought I would. Turns out I’ve found all sorts of other things that bring me more happiness than new shoes (my mom is laughing right now). I love hiking with our kids. I love catching up on reading. I love making lasagnas and giving them to other moms. Buying stuff doesn’t actually bring me as much happiness as I thought.
I learned I don’t miss eating out with my kids. At least not as much as I thought I would! Now we’re having these incredible family dinners at home. It’s my three-year-old who will yell “we forgot to say what we’re grateful for!!!” if we take a bite before grasping hands and sharing our gratitude for that day. Our dinners are relaxed, because I’ve had the time to cook without rushing. We start early, because we’re not racing home from the office. Is it always peaceful? Nope, my 15-month-old still thinks he’s Jackson Pollock and food is his medium. But it’s a new tradition I love and don’t want to let go of.
I learned I actually enjoy working from home. (Most of the time.) I realize this will not resonate with everyone – it depends on the kids, on childcare, on the type of work you do. But for me, I’ve actually enjoyed not having to commute and waste all that time driving. I’ve enjoyed getting to take a break at lunchtime and eat with my kids. I’ve enjoyed being able to pop the cauliflower in the oven at 3pm and then go back to work, knowing that we’ll have an early dinner and still get to eat something that takes a little longer to prep.
I don’t think these will be the things that everyone learns – they’re my things – but I bet if we all stopped to reflect, everyone would have a list of surprises. So what now? It would be easy for me to fall back into the same habits now that stay-at-home is lifted. FINALLY, I get to go shopping! FINALLY, we can go out to eat!! FINALLY, I get to go back to the office!!! Because it’s what we were used to. Because we’ve been reaching for any sense of normalcy for months, and going back to the way things were is a way of achieving that normalcy. But what if instead, we took a minute to really reflect on what was good about stay-at-home? The things we learned we don’t miss, the things we learned we liked? And then, what if we could continue - even if not all of them - some of them? Maybe we could take a little bit of good away from this madness. And that would be magical.
Stay tuned next week for the last big lesson. Hint: it has to do with the word no…