The most glorious hour and a half I never knew I had

I am NOT a morning person.

If ten years ago you had told my parents that I would be voluntarily and happily waking up at 5:00am every day, they would have laughed in your face. (Ok no they wouldn’t have, they’re way to nice for that, but they certainly wouldn’t have believed you!) I can tell you my mom is already laughing reading this, right now.

Let me just give you a little history. I was the kid in high school that could – and regularly did –sleep until 1pm without breaking a sweat. I had to set multiple alarms if I had something important in the morning, and even that didn’t always work. I actually slept through a 9am economics midterm once in college. (You know those miss-the-text-anxiety dreams? Well, this was over 10 years ago and I still get those dreams.) I always did my best work in the late, late hours of the night. Until 2009, I drank coffee at all hours like it was my job. We’re talking pot a day, multiple venti Starbucks caramel macchiatos… when I tried to quit caffeine let’s just say it wasn’t pretty. My grandfather was a night owl, my mom is a night owl, and so I thought I was genetically programmed to be a night owl. Mornings? Not my thing, thank you very much.

Enter: children. Need I say more?

I became a morning-ish person, but out of necessity – not out of choice. And for the first nearly 3 years of motherhood, I woke up when the kids woke up. And from that moment on my day was packed. Mornings were all about getting the kiddos ready. Then work. Then play with the kids, make dinner, get the kids to bed. Aaaaand get the kids back in bed. Then clean up the house. Rinse, wash, repeat. Sure, I had time after that in the evenings, but by then I was usually exhausted and so I was spending my time inefficiently catching up on the last few things from the workday, scrolling my Facebook feed, or finding something mindless on Netflix. I didn’t feel like that was quality time, but it was all I had the energy for. It wasn’t me genuinely being good to mama. I was craving something more but just thought, well, this is motherhood!

 As fate would have it (and I truly do believe in fate) I heard something that once upon a time would have made me bristle, but instead it made me stop and think. What I heard was: “if your kids are your alarm clock, there’s a problem”.

Yup, I thought. I can see why it’s a problem. Sooooo…. How do I fix it?

I had heard stories of these magical people who got up early each morning and had time to themselves. They drank coffee in peaceful silence, they read books or wrote or exercised without the assistance of little hands. They meditated. Kept journals. Maybe went for a walk. Some of the most successful people, I learned, were morning people: using those early hours to think and reflect and be creative. But surely they were just built differently? Different DNA?

Enter: copious amounts of obsessive research. (If you haven’t noticed yet, obsessive research is my jam).

I listened to podcasts. I learned about successful people who were morning people and tried to mimic what they did. I read The Miracle Morning. I joined a morning accountability group on What’sApp. While a lot of that was informative and inspirational, ultimately? It just came down to discipline: I had to go to bed earlier to get up earlier, and I needed to stick with it until my mind and body adjusted. I need a minimum of 8 hours of sleep, so for me to get up at 5am I have to actually be in bed and ready to sleep by 9pm. It was a serious adjustment – not just for me but for my husband as well. (More reasons why having your partner on the same page when it comes to your goals is super important!) We bought orange colored reading lights so he could stay up after I was asleep.  I used a sleep app that has a “smart wake” feature and an alarm that gradually increases in volume, so it woke me up before him. It took about two weeks, but one day I just didn’t feel as groggy in the morning. And the next morning was easier. And the next. By a month? I had built a new habit. And I think I was the most shocked of all: apparently, I was a morning person!  

What do my mornings look like now?

They’re glorious. In the mornings, my brain isn’t all full of to-dos and what-ifs and did-I-forget-that-thing. It’s a time of creativity. A time of peacefulness. I get up, quietly make my decaf, chug some water, and breathe in the time that is 100% wholly mine. Sometimes I sit at the table and watch the sun come up. Sometimes I write in my journal. Sometimes I exercise. Sometimes I start making lasagna sauce. I’ve gone through different routines in the last year, but it always feels wonderful. And it’s always time for me: time when I can choose what I need to do to take care of myself. Which in turn, means I’m better at taking care of those I love starting at 6:30 or 7am, when they wake up. It’s not much time, but it’s enough.

I share just this in case, like I did, you’re feeling like you don’t have enough time for you. Maybe it’s because you have little ones (or big ones!) at home, or maybe it’s because the pandemic has overwhelmed us with more to-dos than we ever thought we’d have on our list. And maybe like me, you just never in a million years imagined you could be a morning person. It doesn’t seem like much: just an hour, hour a half, but it’s enough to make a difference. So just in case… let my story be your inspiration.