What my kids really want this holiday season

This is the season where I get caught up. I want to make my kids (and the rest of my family) grin with glee when they open a gift from me during Hanukkah or Christmas. I grew up with the tradition of truly meaningful gifts – gifts that showed you had listened to someone all year long, sussed-out the perfect thing that’s missing in their life, and surprised them by putting said thing a well wrapped box with ribbon and a cleverly written clue. Christmas Eve at my house was a glorious time.

But in today’s world of instant gratification, superb gift giving is really, really hard to do. There’s no wait time for anything we want. For example: I ordered contacts yesterday and my options for shipping – no joke – were “standard”, “ridiculously fast”, or “Teleported (basically)”. I laughed, but it’s also true. You want something today? Have it teleported to you tomorrow. I’m guilty of this with my kids as well, thanks to Amazon. Oh, you want to build a house out of craft sticks? Great! In two days (well, four days in Hawaii) we’ll have the sticks, glue, pom-poms, pipe cleaners, stickers, and anything else we could possible dream of needing for the project. There are even times where I think to myself – hmm, four days is a long time. Would Target have this in stock? Could I order it for curbside pickup in two hours?

Sheesh!

But I’m guessing I’m not alone. And I’m guessing I’m also not along in feeling this internal struggle between a desire delight my kids with my desire to not turn them into instant-gratification monsters. But I digress – that struggle is a topic for another post. This one is about the season of giving that is well upon us.

I’m not ready to let go of gift-giving completely. Oh, don’t get me wrong, I’m still 100% fine telling relatives or friends know that no, my kids really don’t need anything. But selfishly, I want to see my kids’ faces light up when they open something from me during the holidays. So that brings me back to… what do our kids truly need, or want?

What does my daughter cherish most? It’s time. Memories. Kids are human too, just like adults. When I take her on a mommy daughter “date night”, or when I spend Sunday afternoon cooking with her… that’s when she thrives. And that’s what she remembers. Out of nowhere, she’ll say “Mama, do you remember when I was three and…” and go on to describe in detail some adventure we had together. From a year and a half ago! Or when I build a block tower with my son that’s as tall as he is, or when we roll around on the floor having a tickle fight… that’s what he asks for. Not stuff.

Sure, when we walk the aisles at Target it’s “I want that!” or “Mama, can we get that?” But we’ll put it on a list to think about for later, and after a week they’ve totally forgotten. They only want it because it’s right there, right now.

Yes, I’ll still get them a couple of toys for the holidays, either things that they’ve asked for over and over, or amazing STEM activities that I’ve discovered during my 3am internet stalking (thanks to Zion, who still nurses like a horse overnight). Clothes, because they grow like weeds and C is about as addicted to new clothes as I was (am?). But what I really want to gift them this year… it’s adventure, with me. Experiences. Special things we’ll do together. A restaurant gift certificate, so C and I can have a dress-up-and-go-out girls’ night. A ticket to a tractor ride for M so I can see the look of pure childlike glee on his face when the tractor engine rumbles under his bum.

I have no idea how it will go. I don’t know whether at almost-three and four-and-a-half they’ll understand when they open the gift what it really means. But I’m trying it. Wish me luck, and happy holidays!