How I'm being more intentional about holiday gifts

It’s December! If you’re anything like me, now you’re thinking “okay team self: time to get going on that holiday shopping”. While every year I have glorious goals of collecting unique and meaningful gifts throughout the year, suddenly December is here. I realize either 1) I’ve already given those gifts because I have zero self-control, 2) we’ve moved half a dozen times and I have no idea where any of that stuff is, or 3) I totally forgot.

So here we are! Last year I wrote about how to say no to holiday presents from friends and family. I’m still a firm believer in not collecting a bunch of unwanted stuff, so all those principles still hold true in my family. But I’m adding a new principle for gift-giving this year:

Buy less while giving more.

At first glance it sounds counterintuitive. So, let me explain what’s been going on in my head and heart. 

The pandemic has left small businesses completely in the lurch. Cute storefronts with thoughtfully curated items: those stores often rely on foot traffic. In person farmers markets and crafts fairs: these are settings that artisans leverage to sell their handmade goods. Bakeries and specialty food stores: both places that make a huge percentage of their annual income by folks splurging on holiday parties and family gatherings. But foot traffic is minimal this year, most fairs are cancelled, and there are few, if any, holiday events or parties.

So, I’m shifting where I spend my holiday dollars. When I first made my list of what I wanted to get for my kiddos this year, my immediate instinct was “ok Amazon, what you got?”. But then I paused. Amazon? They’re going to be just fine when the pandemic is over. As will all the big box stores that figured out online ordering before 2020. So this year, while it’s taking me extra time, my goal is to shop small and to shop well. I’m finding locally owned toy-stores with curbside pickup, mom-owned craft stores on Etsy, and gifts that do more than just make the recipient smile. Here’s what I’ve decided this holiday season.

I’m ok with paying more

Will I pay an extra $3 for that box of sparkly unicorn chalk because I’m buying from an independent toy store? Yes! And I’m excited about it, because it means I’m giving two gifts instead of one. I’m giving the gift of glittery delight to my three-and-a-half-year-old, and I’m giving the gift of helping the person or the family behind that small business. These are the people for whom that extra $3 – multiplied by a few thousand items – will actually make a difference. When I see a box arrive from a small business who’s story and history I’ve gotten to know, it feels so much better than seeing yet another Amazon package on my doorstep. 

But paying more does mean that I’m giving fewer things – like most people, we don’t have an unlimited holiday budget, especially this year. But then again, my kids don’t need a zillion presents. (My husband doesn’t even want anything: it’s like pulling teeth each year to get him to tell me at least one thing he wants that he hasn’t already gotten for himself!) That means that this year we can do more; but with less. 

I’m giving gifts that give

In addition to shopping small businesses, I’m also looking for gifts that do more than just delight a small child (or husband, or mother-in-law…). There are plenty of companies that have a buy-one-and-we’ll-donate-one approach, or organizations that sell merchandise to support a social mission (now having an e-commerce store for Lasagna Love, I’ve become more intimately familiar with the impact of the latter!). And I don’t even have to do a lot of research to find these gifts – Oprah, and many others, have done the legwork for me. 

For example: since this is the first year ever that I’m celebrating the holidays not at my mom’s house, we don’t have even the most basic of supplies. That means I get to buy Christmas stockings made by single moms in Haiti. (Yup: we’re Jewish, but I grew up with Christmas traditions and culturally, I’m just not able to let them go). Those moms are now making the same wages as a local nurse but are working from home. 10% of the profit goes to a center for women who have been victims of human trafficking, and 5% of their profits go to a children’s shelter in Atlanta that enables moms of those kiddos to go to work. Talk about being good to mama! Speaking of mamas…

I’m being good to mama-preneurs

I do have a bias towards mom entrepreneurs (no surprise there). Especially now, since women-owned business have been harder hit by the pandemic than male-owned businesses. In one survey, 54% of women business owners said they were afraid they would have to permanently close their businesses. That breaks my heart, knowing how much love and energy goes into starting a business. So, if there’s a choice and I can find a woman-owned, mom-owned, or minority-mom-owned business, you know where I’m shopping (even if it’s $4 more for that sparkly unicorn chalk).

How do I do this?

I started with Facebook and Google. I put a call out to my friends for any toy stores in their local communities that were locally owned or small businesses and also had a good online shop. But even if you’re not on Facebook, turns out there are a lot of people out there who have already done the research for you! Here’s a few:

We Are Women Owned Virtual Holiday Pop Up

Oprah’s 36 Gifts that Give Back

NYT’s Gifts that Give Back

Fatherly’s The 25 Best Independent Toy Stores in America

Motherly’s 28 incredible Black-owned businesses to support

Or you can just search “locally owned toy stores” or the like and Google, which always magically knows exactly where you are, will give you a list. 

Happy holidays, and happy shopping!